Sunday, May 4, 2008

A father put his three year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying
"God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to
do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and
listened to her prayers, which went like this:
"God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,
"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock.
He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his
office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day
he stayed there,
looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said
"I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"
He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my
life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened
HERE.

He asked "What"??????

She said "This morning our neighbour James suddenly died."


Once a smart S/W engineer and his PM were traveling towards Ooty in a train.

Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.

With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.

Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that, --

"The Guy is a rogue;

How dare he is?

He has kissed my grand daughter!

But my Grand daughter is genuine;

She immediately slapped that guy."

PM thought that,--

"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl!

But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that,--

"I feel happy,

When that guy kissed me,

But I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, do u know what our clever S/W engineer thought?—

"This *one minute* in my life is wonderful,

It hardly comes...because,

At a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."

एक दिन राजू के पापा एक रोबोट ले कर आये.

वह रोबोट झूठ पकड़ सकता था और झूठ बोलने वाले को गाल पर खीँच कर चांटा मार देता था.

आज राजू स्कूल से घर देर से आया था... पापा ने पूछा "घर लौटने में देर क्यो हो गयी?"

"आज हमारी एक्स्ट्रा क्लासेस थी" राजू ने जवाब दिया...

रोबोट अचानक अपनी जगह से उछला और जमकर राजू के गाल पर चांटा मार दिया.

पापा हंसकर बोले, "ये रोबोट हर झूठ को पकड़ सकता है और झूठ बोलने वाले को चांटा भी मारता है. अब सच क्या है यह बताओ... कहाँ गए थे?"

"में फिल्म देखने गया था" राजू बोला

"कौन सी फिल्म?" पापा ने कड़ककर पूछा

"हनुमान"
चटाक... अभी राजू की बात पूरी भी नहीं हुई थी की उसके गाल पर रोबोट ने एक जोर का चांटा मारा.

"कौन सी फिल्म?" पापा ने फिर पूछा

"कातिल जवानी."

पापा ग़ुस्से में बोले "शर्म आनी चाहिए तुम्हे. जब में तुम्हारे जितना था तब ऐसी हरकत नहीं किया करता था."

चटाक... रोबोट ने एक चांटा मारा... इस बार पापा के गाल पर.

यह सुनते ही मम्मी किचन में से आते हुए बोली "आख़िर तुम्हारा बेटा है ना... झूठ तो बोलेगा ही"

अब मम्मी की बारी थी... चटाक... .

Thursday, December 14, 2006

AWARD WINNING JOKE

This particular joke won an award for the best joke competition organized in Britain

Banta Singh walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."

Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada and I'm here in London. When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. Banta Singh became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss. " Banta Singh looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no," he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" . " The only thing is ...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................! ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................! ...................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

...................................................................................................................................................................... I just quit drinking"!!!

Santa Vs Banta(HINDI)

Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai
deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.

Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
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Santa jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the,
achanak
Banta jhad se ulta latak ke gaane laga,
Santa ne pucha ki ulta kyon

latka hai, Banta bola,
"Oye, side B gaa raha hun.
"

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Santa and Banta

Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more than 1000 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.
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Why does a Banta keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.
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How Does Santa Cheated the Railways??
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

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One day Santa talking with his friend Banta.......
Santa: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we
will not be able to communicate with my child.
Banta: Is it! Why?
Santa: We have adopted a telugu child and it will
start to speak after 6 months.


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Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching
high and low, all over the living room.

She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?"

Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?"

Santa:"Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on
television saying ....'You are watching the Star World channel'? "How can
he know what I am watching?"
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